The Return of Canon Ixus 960is

My camera is back, after gone for few months.

Thank Gods!

Picture from HERE

Who the hell knows....

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. 
Our things were answers like astronaut, president, or in my case, princess…
When we were ten, they asked us again. 
We answered - rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist… 
But now that we’ve grown up, they want a more serious answer. 
Well, how about this…  
Who the hell knows?  

This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. 
This is the time to make mistakes. 
Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. 
Fall in love - a lot. 
Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. 
Change your mind. 
Then change it again because nothing is permanent. 
So make as many mistakes as you can. 
That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… 
We won’t have to guess. 
We’ll know.”

[Eclipse]

On His Wedding Day

~you're so beautiful girl...~

Ponselku berbunyi. Panggilan masuk. Ronald.

"Halo 'Nald?" sapaku ringan.
"Morning Felice," balasnya manis. Terlalu manis.
"Selamat pagi, Ronald. Ada apa pagi-pagi gini telepon aku?" tanyaku curiga.
"Hari ini aku married, Felice..." suara Ronald terdengar mengambang.
"Yap," sambarku cepat.
"Today's my wedding day..."
"Iya, iya, aku tau," jawabku tak sabar, "aku udah terima undangannya, Ronald Jelek. Kan waktu itu kamu sendiri yang ngasih ke aku."
"Are you coming?"
"Of course, I'm coming to your wedding, no matter what!" kataku mantap.
"Don't."
"Maksud kamu?"
"Don't go there. Don't go to the wedding."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not coming."
"Ronald Wangsamulia! What's in your mind? Why aren't you coming to your wedding? YOUR VERY OWN WEDDING. Hari ini adalah hari yang sudah kamu nanti-nantikan. Kamu udah berbulan-bulan mempersiapkan acara hari ini. Dan kamu gak mau datang? What on earth is going on in your mind? Have you lost your mind?"
Tak ada jawaban. Hanya sunyi.

"Give me one reason. One damn good reason why I should come to that wedding," pintanya lemah.
"THAT wedding? It's YOUR WEDDING, Nald!" seruku berapi-api. Tak mengerti apa yang terjadi di dalam kepala sahabatku itu.
"Yeah, whatever. Just give me a reason," jawabnya keras kepala.
"Err, because you love that lady and you've always wanted her to be your wife?"
"It ain't good enough."
Aku hampir meledak mendengar jawabannya.
"I have always been in love with you, Felicity Natasha Widjaja," katanya lemah.
Sunyi. Aku tak sanggup mencerna apa yang Ronald katakan barusan.

"Yeah, kamu gak pernah tahu itu. I've always been in love with you. Even now. That's why I can't come to my own wedding. Aku sayang kamu, Felice.." Ia melanjutkan dengan lemah.
"Ta-tapi, kenapa? Kenapa kamu baru bilang sekarang? At the very last moment?" tanyaku setelah berhasil mengenyahkan dingin yang tiba-tiba membekukan lidahku.
"Apa bedanya? Memang bakal ada bedanya kalau aku bilang ini kemarin, bulan lalu, atau tujuh tahun yang lalu, ketika aku pertama kali menyadari perasaan ini?"
"Ada lah bedanya!" seruku tiba-tiba.
"Apa?" tanyanya terkejut.
"Aku bisa bilang ke kamu bahwa aku gak bisa membalas cintamu dan kamu harus melanjutkan hidupmu."
"Hahaha... Sudah kuduga kamu bakal ngomong kayak gitu..."
"Yeah, you know me way too well."
"Yeah, seven years of loving me makes me who I am today."
"Including making you a coward?"
"Hah?" Ada nada shock di dalam suaranya.
"Yap, Ronald Wangsamulia yang aku kenal, mungkin adalah seorang cowok playboy cap duren yang bersaing dengan Casanova, tapi dia bukan pengecut. He's way better than you!"
Tak ada balasan dari seberang sana. Mungkin ia shock mendengar perkataanku.
"Ronald, you might be a jerk, but you ain't a coward," tandasku mantap.
Tak ada jawaban.

"I'm calling it off," katanya tiba-tiba.
"Apanya?"
"The wedding."
"H-h-how? WHY?"
"Because I love you."
"So?"
"Aku nggak mau hidup tanpa kamu Felice... I can't live without you..." katanya lirih.
"Kamu udah mencintai aku selama 7 tahun ini, dan tiba-tiba kamu bilang kamu gak bisa hidup tanpa aku? Helloooww... Have you imagine of letting go a beautiful fine lady who loves you so much in her wedding gown, on her wedding day? I know you're way better than that. It's really stupid of you for even thinking of that, Nald.
"Aku gak pernah merasa malu bersahabat dengan orang-orang yang dicap brengsek, Nald. Gak pernah, sampe saat ini. Karena mereka gak pernah menjadi orang yang pengecut," kataku. Pahit, mengingat akhir pekan kami selama setahun terakhir ini yang terfokus untuk mempersiapkan hari besar ini.

"Kamu yakin mau membatalkan pernikahan ini? Lalu, apa yang akan kamu lakukan, Nald?" tanyaku akhirnya, tak tahan dengan muram yang menggantung.
"Aku gak tahu, Liz.. Bener-bener gak tau apa yang harus kulakukan. Tell me what to do, would you?"
"Lakukan apa yang menurut kamu benar, Nald. Aku gak bisa menentukan apa yang harus kamu lakukan. Ini hidupmu yang kamu pertaruhkan."
"Aku merasa adalah suatu kesalahan kalau aku tetap menikah hari ini."
"Dan adalah kesalahan besar kalau kamu gak jadi menikah hari ini. Kamu akan menghancurkan hati Angel. She might not perfect, tapi menurutku, dia adalah wanita yang baik dan sangat cocok untukmu. Dia mau berusaha memahami kamu, dan dia juga gak pernah menyerah menghadapi sifat-sifatmu. Sampai saat ini. Kalau kamu benar-benar meninggalkan dia, kamu akan kehilangan banyak hal, Nald. Too many."
"I know, I just don't think that I'm doing it for the right reason, Liz.."
"Then find one."
"I can't, that why I asked you to give me one."
"Yes, you can, Nald.. Kamu tahu kan, sesungguhnya kamu sayang sama Angel kan?"
"Yes, I do..." muram masih terus menggantung di wajah itu. "What should I do?"
"You gotta figure it out by yourself. Kamu masih punya waktu 5 jam sebelum upacara pernikahan kamu. Pulang, dan pikirkan baik-baik.. I'll see you in 5 hours?"
Ia terdiam, tak menjawab. Kemudian kembali sepi..

Apapun keputusanmu, aku doakan itu adalah yang terbaik untuk semuanya, terutama untukmu.

Senja di desa

Senja di desaku selalu tampak indah
mentari yang bulat kemerahan
meninggalkan corak merah di langit cerah
bagai gurat rindu yang takkan berlalu

Senja di desaku selalu tampak indah
karena sendu yang menggugu
membawa rindu yang membiru
akan suatu masa yang telah lalu

Senja di desaku selalu tampak indah
dahulu dan kini
ketika kuberanjak pergi ke kota gempita yang tak hirau akan senja

020810.1022

Bruises - Chairlift

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Everytime I fell on you, yeah, everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you.

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do handstands for you
Everytime I fell on you, yeah, everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you but everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you-ooh-ooh-ooh

For you-ooh-ooh-ooh
So black and blue-ooh-ooh-ooh
For you-ooh-ooh-ooh.

I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruising knees
But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like....
All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruising knees,
Hot July ain't good to me
I'm pink and black and blue for you.

I got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue

Got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue for you-ooh-ooh-ooh

For you-ooh-ooh-ooh
So black and blue-ooh-ooh-ooh
For you-ooh-ooh-ooh

Do-doo-do-do-do-do-doo

Kejujuran

It's noble to want to confess, but if the result are just damage and pain, that's not noble. It's selfish.
[Quoted from friend's status in Facebook]

Kejujuran adalah kejujuran, meskipun itu menyakitkan. Dan itu patut diacungi jempol.
Oranglain bisa menerima atau tidak, bukan urusan.
Titik.

What if...

If I were about to tell my brain to tell my body that it doesn't feel good so I can have an excuse not to come to the office tomorrow, what will happen?

[picture from HERE]

Aku Jatuh Cinta Lagi!

Entah berapa lama aku tak merasakan hal ini.

Jantungku berdegup, berdebar-debar.

Ada sesuatu di dalam diriku ketika memandanginya.

Melucuti sampulnya.

Dan membuka halaman demi halamannya.

Perlahan.

Sambil menikmati semua detil yang ada.

Tak ingin ada yang terlewatkan.

Ketika kata demi kata mengalir,

Aku semakin terpesona.

Aku jatuh cinta lagi!

Namun, dengan segala hormat, aku menolak untuk terbunuh tanpa perlawanan. 

[Nagabumi hlm 7]

[gambar sampul dipinjam dari sini]

To spend my whole damn life

life is scary and short, and i love you.

and i've been stupid, and i can't be stupid anymore. 

i have to be with you. we have to be together. 

and something good has to happen tonight. please. 

i want to spend my whole damn life with you. 

[cooper in pp s03e23]

[picture from HERE]

That's what friendship is.

But that's what friends do.

They screw up, 

and sometimes, 

they hurt each other...
And you forgive them.
That's what friendship is.

[Cooper on PPS03E22]

[Picture from HERE]